Wednesday, December 1, 2010

One word


If I had to choose one word to sum up 2010, it would be hard to go past the word that I selected for myself at the end of 2009: LOVE.

There were many reasons for this choice of word, but the one that really jumps out at me now is this one:

[2010] is also the year where I am more mindful of my self-sabotaging behaviours -- hasty decisions, impulse spending, quick temper, binge eating, desiring to please etc. -- and work on viewing them as areas of my life where I need to love my self more. I see now that the endless spiral of self-sabotage and shame has not served me well and that there are more nourishing decisions to be made.

Looking back, I can see how this was the driving force behind pretty much everything I did this year. It was also the one that determined the extent to which all other forms of love (love for family, love for work, love for art and for writing) was possible... or not.

I see that I worked so hard on this and often fell down, overwhelmed with exhaustion and despair. But I also see now that I really am on track. I'm not exactly in an ecstatic place at this moment, but I know that I will soon be able to say that I have made more space for myself, that I trust myself more, and that I can make more nourishing choices.

And what is that, if not love?

There have surely been other words that have played a significant part in the way 2010 has unfolded: closure, community, courage, clarity. [No idea why they're all Cs, that tends to happen a bit!] Perhaps they too are inextricably connected to love in some way.

But as for the word I'd like to look back on, this time next year, I feel it's a little too early to say. I'm definitely going to sit down and think it through. Travelling with a word was an enriching and focusing experience, and one I'd highly recommend.

2 comments:

  1. I didn't see this earlier today. This is such a touching reflection and so beautifully written, too. Your word, and love itself, has carried you through this year, my friend. :)

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  2. I agree with Inca Maia...

    I love this image of the blossom tea - I love blossom teas!!

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