So last weekend I attended the Big Hearted Business conference.
It was a weekend of breathtaking wonder and exquisite discovery and deep, deep joy. And more than a little anxiety.
And then I came home. And walked on air for half a day.
And then life happened.
There were chores to catch up on, school lunches to be made, lists of errands to compile.
My daughter got hit by a nasty virus and then croup. My baby required more feeding and settling than ever before. None of us got much by way of sleep.
I began to wonder, as I consumed my body weight in chocolate covered pretzels, if I was back to square one.
But then I remembered.
The validation that I was on the right track. The inspiration to step up, go further. The genuine connections. The reminder that the way I nourish my body makes all the difference to my soul.
And then I saw the truth.
That there was no going back.
I was, in a word, rearranged.
Those chores? I breezed through them in the space of an hour on Sunday night where they usually [grudgingly] took me all weekend. The sleepless nights? It occurred to me my bambino might be chilly rather than hungry: a heater in his room solved the hourly waking! The feeding and settling, and tending to my sick daughter? It felt like a joy to be of service and I loved having them both home with me.
This last week has been extremely taxing on a physical level. But emotionally, psychologically I feel grounded, balanced. At peace.
My To Do list is no shorter. My anxieties have not disappeared.
But the weekend reminded me that when you fill your heart with the things that you love first, everything else feels easy.
And in terms of my creative dreams? My synapses are firing like crazy, baby! It's time to dream BIG. For the first time ever, I feel good knowing that the journey will take a while to unfold.
I'm open. And ready.
The business of feeling rearranged: it feels good.