Saturday, May 10, 2014

Rearranged


So last weekend I attended the Big Hearted Business conference.

It was a weekend of breathtaking wonder and exquisite discovery and deep, deep joy. And more than a little anxiety.

And then I came home. And walked on air for half a day.

And then life happened.

There were chores to catch up on, school lunches to be made, lists of errands to compile.

My daughter got hit by a nasty virus and then croup. My baby required more feeding and settling than ever before. None of us got much by way of sleep.

I began to wonder, as I consumed my body weight in chocolate covered pretzels, if I was back to square one.

But then I remembered.

The validation that I was on the right track. The inspiration to step up, go further. The genuine connections. The reminder that the way I nourish my body makes all the difference to my soul.

And then I saw the truth.

That there was no going back.

I was, in a word, rearranged.

Those chores? I breezed through them in the space of an hour on Sunday night where they usually [grudgingly] took me all weekend. The sleepless nights? It occurred to me my bambino might be chilly rather than hungry: a heater in his room solved the hourly waking! The feeding and settling, and tending to my sick daughter? It felt like a joy to be of service and I loved having them both home with me.

This last week has been extremely taxing on a physical level. But emotionally, psychologically I feel grounded, balanced. At peace.

My To Do list is no shorter. My anxieties have not disappeared.

But the weekend reminded me that when you fill your heart with the things that you love first, everything else feels easy.

And in terms of my creative dreams? My synapses are firing like crazy, baby! It's time to dream BIG. For the first time ever, I feel good knowing that the journey will take a while to unfold.

I'm open. And ready.

The business of feeling rearranged: it feels good.


7 comments:

  1. I love this post Kat, such great energy. Love to you gorgeous soul. Xx

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  2. What a lovely reflection! It's always amazing to me how important our perspective is to our current situation. If we can take things in stride, and if we can be mindful of our circumstances, life looks and feels so different!

    Can't wait to see what comes of the high-firing creative synapses!

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  3. I love this, "rearranged." It feels just right to me, too. Half way across the world, details of daily life so different, and yet you are still my mirror. xo

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  4. "... when you fill your heart with the things that you love first, everything else feels easy."

    Oh, I love that sentence so much.

    I so wish I'd gone to BHB. I was feeling stubborn about connection, creativity and the possibility of living my dreams and as a result I missed the opportunity. And of course it only took me till the day after to realise what an error I'd made.

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  5. Gorgeous post Kat! Yes...the balancing act of motherhood & everything else! Thank goodness for the big-hearted community that will help support and encourage us on our continuing journeys...especially in times when we need it most! I've added a link of your post to my blog-review of BHB too - hope that's ok. You can see here: http://talinaedwards.com/2014/05/09/do-what-you-love-make-money-and-save-the-world-bhb2014/ Talina x

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  6. LOVE the reframing as "rearranged." That is a great word here.

    Btw, have you seen Alex Franzen's mantras for the overwhelmed? Also useful for new mothers: http://www.alexandrafranzen.com/2013/07/13/21-mantras-for-people-who-are-ridiculously-painfully-excruciatingly-overwhelmed/

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  7. It was a joy spending time with you and darling little L. x

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